[[2] in hospital, slowly [but nicely, even gaily] recovering from an acute psoriasis flare-up

[& here, while interjecting occasionally inside square brackets as I’m doing now, I return to the parts of that spurt of writing from last Saturday night that I left out of the post I published last night, where I wrote about my respondings & postings on facebook to terrible things that were happening while I’ve been recovering here, but before I do that I need to add that I was also posting other kinds of things too that were heartwarming, & heartwarming too were many responses I’ve been getting, & for me at least the facebooking has been a boon that has helped me in my recovering. nonetheless, what’s been happening in israelandpalestine  has been a recurring source of grief & trepidation. & in that spurt I went on from where in my last post I said I was skipping:]

yet like so many jews (or unfortunately maybe not yet so many, & maybe also for some other still unadmitted shames of my own) wanting to say not in my name, or even like I don’t even know if any jew has said, hey, have you forgotten that Israel’s in Palestine, so whoever lives there or comes from there or is descended from someone who fled or was  exiled from there is a Palestinian & why tf can only israelis live in that country without being occupied or exiled or restricted or humiliated by a foreign power, why can’t all Palestinians, be they “Israelis” or “Falastinis” be equal citizens of their country even if they “belong” to two different nations with two different languages & two different cultures that have developed there since the early 2oth century [while bearing with them & adapting much older cultures], & accept at last that both nations are there to stay & have to get it together somehow in some cooperative way like say in Switzerland or Canada or other bi- or multi-national countries, however dangerous & almost impossible this may seem with all the threats posed by fundamentalists & stoked by arms manufacturers & dealers & all, how come there isn’t yet a serious joint movement of Israeli & Falastini Palestinians gathering strength of a different kind to withstand all those pressures, ok I know all [the fears & distrust & the post-traumatic stress disorders & religio-nationalist psychoses or etc, & whatever] so-called historical reasons etc, [not to say that even the Canadians have got it together harmoniously], or that all Australians either are equal citizens, & not to say that the brits & later the australians treated the aborigines as equals or gave them rights until not long ago & there’s still a lot to be done here in that regard, & then there’s Australia’s treatment of asylum seekers, & there’s still so many places where there are officially equal rights but look what’s happening in the usa south right now, & what about [genocides & famines & ebola & whatnot] in africa [& all the detritus everywhere from the aftermaths of European colonialist & imperialist occupation  & exploitation of all the world’s other continents] & then what isil or isis is doing & what’s been going on in Syria for ages, & what life’s like especially for women in so many arab countries & meanwhile the planet’s getting like a macrowave oven & no fucking wonder so many good people get stressed &/or depressed not only from whatever personal problems they may have or traumas they may have suffered individually & it didn’t start from one good morning vietnam (vale vale robin williams) either, but at the same time i also see so much goodness in so many people & in what so many are doing in so many places, so many things to like & love, so much kindness & initiatives & hopes, & inventiveness, people devoting energies to humanitarian & civil causes, solidarities with & of the oppressed & suppressed, & people still managing to have fun, & the joys of love & family & children & grandchildren, & creativity & art & perception of beauty.

& I was thinking of adding to my earlier listing all the cruelties & incivilities, robbings, rapings, beheadings, forcings, torturings physical &/or mental, tormentings. & imposings & deposings & other shit done by individuals to others, whether for personal or impersonal reasons, no less than all the stuff done by all the gangs, militias, governments or organizations that have only their own groupings’ (religious, ethnic, corporate, familial, tribal, ideocentric &/or xenophobic &/or whatever) interests at heart, all converging for me into the thought that civilization, really like any -ization, is a verbal noun, a process in progress, something that is still evolving & hasn’t been fully achieved yet, though much progress has been made in the few tens of millennia it has been going on for — let’s face it, for all the technical & cultural & other accomplishments that ancient & modern so-called civilizations have achieved, some which have lasted & some which have been lost, it is only been since the 60s of the last century that women have begun to be treated as people with equal rights, & still only in the more advanced parts of the world, & civilization will never be a substantive until civility to all others is the basic rule of life & most of the people in the world are civil to one another & I can’t even guess if this can ever happen but also can’t imagine real progress without an increase of feminine & maternal & compassionate influences in ways that will counter the continuing marches of hordes of masculine raiders & marauders & conquerors & profiteers & occupiers of lands & resources & peoples that have so far been the driving forces of so much of what we call human history, & I somehow feel that the only real hope for a civil civilization lies in those deeply feminine impulses that I know [not only from myself] are not absent from masculine hearts….

[& what has all this to do with my recovering slowly (but nicely, and gaily) from my acute psoriasis flare-up? Perhaps nothing, as perhaps nothing will change in the world for my saying it, but I feel that somehow having been able to say it & get it out of me & publish it is also releasing something pent up in me& that this helps with my healing. maybe, maybe not, whatever, I let it go…]

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